i'll always look back, as i walk away
this memory will last, for eternity
and all of our tears,will be lost in the rain
as i find my way back, to your arms again.

had alot of things to write about intially but i kindof forgot. I guess i'm pretty tired of life right now though i do enjoy it. yehh...its just reallie hectic and i guess it would be good if i had one month of hibernation but its impossible cause
1)my june holiday is NOT a holiday at all
2)i most probably die of bordem sleeping for so long
anyways...yahh...kester says i'm reallie good at avoiding people...especially sk...its true i guess...not that i want it that way but my reaction just responds that way...maybe cause i find it funny saying hi to someone who just told me that he has changed...sometimes i wonder...maybe when school reopened i didn't avoid him then maybe we'll still be friends now...or maybe he reallie just doesn't care anymore....anyways...there were memories worth remembering but memories make me sad so i think i'll just lock them up somewhere first and maybe in the future when i can control my emotions better i'll be able to think of them and smile again.
-forgot to add: joels a reallie nice friend to talk to...yupp...you'll be in my prayers dude!
its not that i have not let go, its just that emotions get to me easily.


we're lookin cool alright!
[yeahh...we're the ex cos...what you gonna do bout that]
27thmay2006: PIONEER JUNIOR COLLEGE COLLEGE DAY!

i haven had more than one hour of sleep since yesterday. yupp...stayed overnight in school to watch stars...and i saw two meteors! though it lasted only around 1 sec each, but the feeling you get when you see one is simply unexplainable.
RECALL: 26-27of may was the first time i...
-stayed overnight in pjc
-actually saw uncountable amount of stars in singapore
-slept in a basketball court with only my waterbottle as a pillow
-played pepsi cola 123 at 2am in the morning
-escaped from and returning to sch by climbing over the sch gate
-went for supper at 4am in the morning
-wore a blazer for the school.

today was pioneer's college day. my feet practically died in those chord shoes...squashed were my toes and blistered were myheels. Eventhough the house ex cos didn't do much but to stand and smile at the guests, i was proud to be there. To wear the school's blazer, to contribute, to whatever little thing we can. Though we were kindof the extras or something...but the thought that you are doing something for the school really ignites a flame of excitment in me. yes, standing there ushering was simply boring and had no obvious meaning yet it was fun doing it with a bunch of reallie funny people. yes, i was refering to jerald. don't reallie know him but hes very funny...he was comparing his height to that of a plant. very funny...i love pj!!!yehh...and i'll never forget newtown either.

"waiting for a shooting star to make a wish for you to come back..."


i looked far and now i see...
26052006-the eve of my GP exam and i'm using the com...sighh...i don't know...what would be the best that i can give? i have no idea. its been forever since i've taken an exam...ahh...
common phrases i found in JC:
the winning phrase-"i have a bad feeling i'm going to get retained this year..."
-"shall we skip maths and chem extra lesson?"
-"EhHhh!!!class outing how?!...Not free LAH!"
-"HUH...Running AGAIN ah..."
-"CLASS!huRRY! late for lecture le! MOVE!"
-"so sick MAN!"
and finally....
-"Oooo...its my EYE CANDY!"
yehh...eye candy...sinyan and i were "identifying" our eye candy...haha...and sinyan my dear, you have very weird taste...haha...yupp...pj don't reallie have alot of good-looking guys...more like special looking guys lahh...yupp...hockey!!heh...yehh...we both agreed that hockey guys are the best looking though the rugby guys are comparable...hahas...its quite fun lahh...going around looking for eye candys...though i still think that hockey guy is still the nicest of the lot...hehe...i'm going crazy...
going to spend lots and lots of hours in sch the next few days...staying over frm fri to sat then i have to rush home and get ready for college day...how on earth do you usher people? i think i'll get face cramp from smiling at all the guests...oh wells...kindof happy to contribute though...

the only one i needed was me.


I'M TIRED OF STARING AT THE SUN CAN"T STAND THE WEIGHT UPON MY EYES SO I CAN'T SEE...

twentysecondofmaytwothousandandsix-
wahh...theres this big commotion about bestfriends amongst kester and gang...but i agree with what kester said...it would be nice to marry someone who understands you completely and just takes in your flaws and help you change yourself for the better. don't know when i'll find that certain someone but certainly not now i guess...i'm happy with what i have now. yupp...
sarah has gone for OBS..her first day today and i can already feel her absence in my life.though we spend most of the weeknights quarreling but my house without her screaming and hyperactiveness is reallie cold and sad. SARAH I MISS YOU ): i definately cannot be a loner.
i'm afraid to go OBS...duhh...pretty dumb but...yahh...feel funny...
heard joel's singing today...hes got a nice voice(: yupp...and he strums de guitar pretty well too!! jia you!!! hehe...ate long johns today!!!yumyum...

we've been on the run, driving in the sun looking out for 101, california here we come, right back where we started from.



WHEN YOU ARE WITH ME I'M FREE, I'M CARE-LESS I BELIEVE
ABOVE ALL THE OTHERS WE'LL FLY THIS BRINGS TEARS IN MY EYES, MY SACRIFICE.

19062006-under the velvet sky with heads lifted high.
cup noodles never tasted so good before,especially when you're eating it cause you've got no money for a good dinner. BUT having a sky filled with stars, the open field infront of you and your best buds around, cup noodles would taste like italian pasta in the most posh restaurant no doubt, even better than that.yesh we were still in sch at 8 plus plus eating cup noodles at the track,fighting over whether the blinking light in the sky is a star or plane.its an unforgettable feeling.

20062006-i never fail to be sensitive over the 20th. don't ask why. went to de jurong library to do homework with jonathan while trying to listen to yamon talk about her school.and guess who we met...de CME relief teacher who used to teach us in newtown. the dancer/psycologist/something...the one who asked us to draw circles and squares. yehh...she was doing some fashion show thingy there...yahh...so qiao...yupp...ANYWAYS, yamon said jonathan was saying that everyone keeps thinking he and i are together. i always thought that people thought it was he and zoe...anyways it doesn't reallie matter cause pple have been thinking that since sec sch...can't help it when pple can't acccept the fact that girl + boy can= to best friends. but i guess i'm still very dependent on him...i don't know lahh...its messy cause if i ever find my other half what would happen to him? and if he finds his, what will happen to me? see, if you keep thinking that way, it becomes messy. so i'd rather not think yet...not now at least...i'm officially avoiding sk and hes officially avoiding me. i guess its de repel repel reaction. its just weird...sighhh...scared to go OBS..why?cause jonathan not going...though last time we weren't in de same grp but...aiyahh don't know lahh...shan't think anymore...

i'm living my own laguna beach where friends are the closest to the heart.



BABY just day goodnight, I'LL be gone tomorrow
BABY just close your eyes, I can't take the sorrow
BABY just walk away, YOU know i can't stay
THERES no easy way to say GOODBYE, so BABY just say goodnight.

17052006-pioneerama. econs test. rugby finals!!

had my very first econs test of the year...yep...surprising...it was okay except for de graph question...mixed up which line was demand and which was supply...i guess i'm the only one who would ever mix such a thing up...oh wells...went to home team academy to watch the rugby finals with jonathan...JJ vs PJ!!! and of course pj won!!!haha...but pj and jj's cheering was not even half as loud as SA and RJ's cheering...jonathan and i went to explore the area, we went to de fish farm that side and we still could hear RJ and SA cheering!!!i guess pj is just small...we don't have as much people....anyways...the feeling was good...cheering for de rugby team....though i don't reallie understand the sport
i'm like totally clueless abt rugby...all i see is a mass of people plopping themselves onto one another just for a odd-shaped ball...i told jonathan that i think the sport originated from the ostrichs...i mean, the ball looks like an ostrich egg anyways...yahh...
after that jonathan and i explored the area as i have typed earlier...den we walked into this place thinking it was de fish farm hoping we could see some fishies...but it wasn't...it was de long lost orchid farm which we went for our learning journey during sec 2!!!hahs...
yahh...what jonathan said was right...we 're not exactly sad that sk is like not with us...i guess we've gotten over that...just sad for him cause he chooses quantity rather than quality friends...but maybe his current friends are quality too...who knows...but yahh...even sk himself said"people DO change" so i guess hes ready to just throw away his newtown life...well...sad..but its his life.


It TaKeS moRe tHan special to melt this heart...

"i have made you and i will carry you;i will sustain you and i will rescue you"Isaiah46:4
i thought i was slipping away...just living on my thoughts, wasting my days away...then joel was kind enough to send me this verse...now, i give the verse to my mummy and everyone else having a tough time out there...yupp...its good to have friends who can remind you that God will always be there...thankew joel (:
yupp...anyways, i keep watching the video clip on the laguna beach graduation 2006 or is it 2005? anyways...its reallie touching...we never had such a graduation ceremony in Newtown but iguess everyone feels pretty much the same as how those in the show felt...unsure of the future and unwilling to let go of the past though the excitment of having a new life tempts us.
hmm...typically, its only me jonathan and kester left in the newtown group in pjc...everyone seems to be having their own new lives...not that we're not...we're having lots of fun...yupp...just passing the days...the thing i don't get is...why can't everyone else be like me kester and jona? we make new friends altogether...oh wells...whatever...hahas...

this is my time, i'm gonna make this moment last


you and me, can't you see how our hearts are one...please believe, can't you see our journeys just begun...
perfect strangers- i guess thats what you want us to be huh.
did what i am best at doing today:slack. yupp...but i guess i read some econs in delifrance while waiting for my mummy to finish her massage...then we went to pepper lunch for dinner with my papa (: yupp...saw shan hong...he still looks de same(: heh...but it was good...seeing someone familiar again...hmm...finished the whole plate of pepper salmon rice...wahh...first time...i think i'm growing fatter(: and its all thanks to jonathan seet seng liang!!!hahas...oh wells...doesn't really matter anymore...i was just thinking...random thoughts...and i realised that this years has passed by so fast...soon it would be de mid year exams...den promo...den next yr wud arrive then it would be the a levels then the guys would be off to army and i'll be left to rot alone...go to university alone...mug for the exams alone...i reallie won't know what to do...God has been kind...last year i feared that i would have to go through jc alone but thankfully jonathan is still stuck with me...haha...but i appreciate it...reallie...THANKEW!!! anyways...yahh...watched "raise your voice" today...oliver james is hot...hahas...but jonathan matthews is still hotter...just like my papa...

the walls will tumble x2 but i'm not gonna cry
my heart won't crumblex2 if we ever say goodbye.


i don't need love anymore i already love two men: ben and jerry (:
To a certain someone: i don't find any reason to be upset because of you anymore
i don't find myself searching for answers for your actions anymore
i don't find myself holding on to the memories
i don't find hope in getting you back
i've learnt to let you go...into the sunset across the horizon
Emotionalday-went to suyin's house today...lots of memories came back...just the thought that there won't be anymore swimming pool for us to pull yamon into and no more gym to crap around in, really gets to me...however, i feel that God has been good to me...right down to my daily needs and activities...yahh...hes done his part...thankew God (: in addition, he has given me the best family members and good friends specially one who i can sit in the swimming pool with just looking at rain drops making ripples while waiting for the big storm to come...yes...thats what we do...its not with anyone that you can have silent moments yet not feel awkward...we just sat there...two people in complete silence...yet there was comfort...for how long it will last?how much more obstacles can our friendship withhold? does it matter? i'm just living the moment...enjoying and treasuring what i have. To die tomorrow, won't scare me.
---------------time, where did you go...why did you leave me here, ALONE-----------


IRIS
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
_____________________________________not much time left to waste_______



thunder in the morning allows me to be thankful for the roof over my head-just came back from meiling's birthday party...yahh it was reallie fun...we played childish games in the playground until we all went crazy...reliving our childhood days..yehh...sadly we're growing older...wasn't it nice just sitting infront of the tv watching cartoons while worrying about the orange seed which you just swallowed thinking a tree would grow out of your nostrils the next day? it is such innocence that we can never get back again...sad but life has to go on...went running in the morning...only ran three rounds though...went to jonathan's house for de first time since i've known him and nope...it didn't shock me though his shower water was reallie cold...yeshh...de stadium didn't have showers!!!lousy!!!wheres de worker's party?!

anyways...i'm pretty irritated that everyone thinks that i need a maid everwhere i go...its like whenever i say i live in sixth avenue everyone gives me that funny look...i'm still a normal person like everyone else...except...i'm broke most of the time...yeshh...seriously...apparently my parents either think that school food is still $1 per meal or they think i'm fat and don't need to eat much...yahh...met baranee on de train yesterday and i was carryin my pink nike bottle den he was like" why you still using this bottle?" and i'm like why can't i use it? den he was like"i thought that other person also has one[referring to sk]" and i'm like so? den he was like hint hint and i'm like wads your problem la...i bought de bottle way before sk bought his and even if we bought it together doesn't mean that you break up den you stop using it right...to think of it now...my mentality is just if you decide to give up on something just give it up...stop playing games...being friends is good isn't it...so i don't know wads with the avoidence and all...maybe its me also but...oh wells...


Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
ohsix.ohfive.twothousandandsix-yesh...chemie test over!!whoOohoo!!hahas...yupp...and i got into house ex co..thank goodness...no...thank God! reallie...but i find it quite fake...like when people only remember God when good things happen to them and typically blame him when misfortune befalls them...but i can safely say i've never thought that way...atleast since i've been saved...i just take them as part of God's plan for me...to help me learn and all...yupp...(: hee...anyways...i've gots a reallie good partner in de house ex co thingy...andy...yupp...though i don't reallie know him well but i guess hes nice...haha...
ehh...i've been drowned in time management...jeanna's sense of time management: zero
yupp...anyways...we had a BGR forum for CT today...don't know why pj is so "in" to BGRs but i guess it was kindof funny...but i must say what de teachers say and de talks they give us is pretty thoughtful...not sure what i'm going to do but oh wells...
yupp...have to go back to figuring maclurin out...yesh...i still don't get it...