I'LL BE GONE AND YOU'LL BE LEFT, SO LOST IN THIS ILLUSION.
this weeks highlight:

ran like mad during P.E on fri...i must say, my stamina has seriously decreased...yupp...because of that, i'm now sick...oh wells...anyways...suppose to go out with the 22s today but unwell so cannot...so sorry jery! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERYLIN!!! yeahh...jerys reallie nice...yupp...so watched laguna beach the whole afternoon all thanks to mtv and so, this is what i gathered:
to have a guy as a bestfriend in the O.C is equals to being able to flirt without a commitment. as in like...they do things which couples do but they don't have to be commited to them...how convinient. yahh...having a guy as a bestfriend in my case, is being taken for granted.
jonathan said himself: cause jeannas always here. thats why i'm not important. nice right.
sometimes i feel like being brainwashed and start life anew. maybe go to mgs and be a reallie spoilt brat and then go to a nice church and meet some decent acs or other nice guys [as friends of course] and then go to acjc and continue my family's "tradition". yahh...instead of being in the world of the" i'll call you only when i'm bored or need you". i have thought of such thoughts yet my feelings hold me back from breaking free like lacson or sk. maybe jonathan should have stayed in jj maybe i should have just gone crazy and go around making friends. but at the end of the day i'm sure i'll be empty with no direction, nothing to look forward to when i go to school. i don't know...my life is just...good and blessed yet uncertain and confusing. i confuse myself yahh...but seriously, sometimes i feel like because we have been friends for so long, it seems as if its natural not to know the importance.

i need you now
just when you've got on with your life
you leave me stranded
and i'm lost in this world of mine.

This place was never the same again
After you came and went
How can you say you meant anything different
To anyone standing alone
On the street with a cigarette
On the first night we met
Look to the past
And remember her smile
And maybe tonightI can breathe for awhile
I'm not in the seatI think I'm fallin' asleep
But then all that it means is
I'll always be dreaming of you
fate fell short this time
smiles fake in the summer
place your hand in mine
i'll leave when i wanna.